Well, it had to come one way or the other. What I have to say is not easy to explain and likely not easy to listen to either. But I have put some thought into it, and the only way for it to move forward is to spit it out into the world.
What is it to be a man? I have come to believe that the cornerstone of being a man is the ability to suppress. Suppressing emotions, well captured in the old saying “men don’t cry”, is hardly news to anyone. The suppression I have in mind is more significant than that.
The ability to suppress basic animal drives is the core that constitutes a man. We remove anyone who does not learn to control these urges from society. Typically using incarceration, but medication works too. The rest remains in the constant battle: Some are harder on themselves, some are balancing on the edge. Some men might not feel like this at all, just as there are probably some women that feel this way.
While I have heard of women’s call to embrace their inner woman, I fear what that would mean for men. The inner man is a beast, wishing for this chance to get out. A great danger lies in every man, a threat, and once the benefits of keeping in line with society no longer outweigh the opposite, it gets released. We see that in mass murderers. It is no coincidence that men are dominating women in this “field” [source]. This difference is why I believe this issue is a masculine issue rather than an issue of all humans. But if you think I am mistaken, I would very much enjoy a debate, so do not hesitate and contact me.
Is suppression wrong?
For the rest of this post, assume I am right, and in the core of a man is a suppressed beast. Its immense power transferred into various types of hierarchies. The proverbial patriarchy that one often hears about is what remains from the animalistic simplicity. It is the place where high-performing men can show dominance. Often they use their power with greed and without remorse. Too often, the patriarchy is not the system we wish for.
It would make sense, then, to get rid of it, right? Fuck the patriarchy. Well, I would not be too quick in this decision. While sport still enables a “men-only” hierarchy, not everyone wants to be an athlete. Someone will always wish for different power. Political, financial, social, intellectual, or a combination of them. The only way for women to enter this patriarchy is by “manning up“, altering themselves to be more man-like, or with quotas. Both are wrong, but about that in another post.
I believe that the patriarchy is internal to the human (man’s) nature. I don’t think there is a chance of changing the system so that men are not at the absolute top. The actual top, not the perceived one. Unless the alteration to the human genome or a similarly significant biological change happens.
Is it sad? No, there is a place at the top for strong women, unafraid of the challenge. Is it harder for women to climb the hierarchy? Probably. But just as it is harder for anyone different. But aren’t we all different, one way or another? If you want, if you really want to get on top, you can. But the important part is the question. Do you really want to get on top?